The Shape of the Eye (memoir)

The Shape of the Eye by George Estreich

A few weeks ago, in my email inbox was an email from a man I'd never heard of before, asking me if I would be willing to read a book he wrote and recently had published, and to write a review here on Book Lust. I still don't know how he stumbled upon my book blog, and I was flattered that a bona fide author would think that anything I had to say about a book might actually carry some weight with anyone. Without hesitation, I agreed to read and review his book because I was flattered to be asked, because I like the idea of having any sort of contact with an actual author (being a wannabe writer myself), but mostly because the subject matter of his book is near and dear to me.

I have read numerous memoirs about having a child with Down syndrome. The Shape of the Eye is, hands down, the best one I've read. Where Jennifer Graf-Groneberg's Road Map to Holland was a lifeline to me in the days and weeks immediately following my son Finnian's birth, diagnosis of Down syndrome, and major surgery as a newborn, soothing me and assuring me that the grief I was feeling was normal and that it would pass in time, The Shape of the Eye examines that grief, without judgment.

Like so many parents of children with Down syndrome, George Estreich and his wife were shocked by their second daughter's diagnosis soon after her birth, and like so many of us, they found themselves suddenly thrust into the alien territory of raising a child who is different, who is largely, in an abstract way, seen as defective by society. His book, which he spent nearly a decade doing research for and writing, is a personal, heartfelt, often witty, account of raising a child with Down syndrome. More than that, however, it is also a historical account of what has shaped our attitudes about Down syndrome - the truths, half-truths, non-truths, contradictions, and paradoxes. This is a book not only about Down syndrome, but about family, and ethnicity, preconceived notions, and what it means to belong.

Mr. Estreich, a stay-at-home dad and a poet by profession, is an extremely gifted writer. I could not stop turning the pages and throughout the book often felt as if I could easily sit down with him over coffee and shoot the shit about Down syndrome, about parenting, about family, about life.

Five stars. I cannot recommend this book highly enough.

Autobiography of a Face (memoir)

Autobiography of a Face by Lucy Grealy

It's funny . . . I picked up a paperback edition of this book a couple of years ago and, like so many books I buy (buying books is a vice with me), it sat on my to-be-read shelf for a long time, untouched, while I made my way through dozens of other books. Eventually I did a book purging, as I occasionally do, attempting to honestly assess the likelihood of my ever actually reading each book sitting on my to-be-read shelf. This one was given away with a stack of other books, never having been opened by me.

Then my book club chose Truth & Beauty by Ann Patchett for this month's discussion, and my interest in Autobiography of a Face was rekindled. Now I wanted to know more about this Lucy Grealy, the friend Ann Patchett wrote about, and the book that made Lucy famous. Fortunately, I didn't have to re-buy the book; a friend had a copy and graciously sent it to me. I started it yesterday morning and finished it right at dinnertime today. Yes, it was that absorbing; I couldn't put it down.

"I spent five years of my life being treated for cancer, but since then I've spent fifteen years being treated for nothing other than looking different from everyone else. It was the pain from that, from feeling ugly, that I always viewed as the great tragedy of my life. The fact that I had cancer seemed minor in comparison."

Diagnosed at age 9 with a rare form of cancer, Lucy went through a long, hellish ordeal of radiation and chemo, as well as an operation to remove the cancerous tumor from her face, which also necessitated removing a large portion of her lower jaw, leaving her disfigured. What followed were years and years of failed reconstructive surgeries and a self-loathing, both for being what she perceived as ugly, and for allowing herself to be so weak as to care that she was ugly.

What I found so engrossing was how deeply introspective she seemed to be at all times. Whether she actually was so clear of thought as a child experiencing the things she later writes about, or whether the insights only came to her later as she wrote of her experiences, it's hard to know, but in any case, her book is extremely reflective and insightful. A lot of it resonated with me, also, in the sense that she expresses very movingly how the aftermath of cancer can sometimes be more difficult, more painful, than cancer and cancer treatment themselves, and just how tied one's physical and/or aesthetic condition is to one's sense of worth.

When I read Truth & Beauty, I did not like the person Ann Patchett wrote about as her friend, Lucy Grealy. I feel like I have a much better understanding of Lucy now, and finally the compassion - and even admiration - I was unable to find for her when I was reading T & B. I really think that Ann Patchett's book should not be read without also reading Autobiography of a Face.

Movie Review: The Help

When a movie comes out based on a book that my book club has read, we like to get a group together to go see the movie. This past Friday night, a handful of us went to see The Help, based on Kathryn Stockett's 2009 novel, which quickly became a bestseller and a book club fave. Without being redundant and giving a synopsis of the story again (which you can read here in my review of the book), I will say that the movie was very good - better than I thought it would be. I was expecting a sort of shallow, aesthetically pleasing version that only skimmed the surface of the original story; I don't know why, except that the movie poster gives the impression of light-heartedness and not drama or emotion. The movie was great, though: the characters were all believable (Ron Howard's daughter, Dallas Howard, did an amazing job as the horrible Hilly Holbrook), and the sets, costumes and script were authentic. I think this movie could stand on its own even without having read the book.

Face of Hope (memoir)

Face of Hope by Carol Guscott

On an ordinary day in July of 1994, Carol Guscott went to work at her lumber yard in her native Jamaica, where two men attacked her, pouring battery acid in her eyes and on her face, leaving her blind and disfigured. This is her story in her own words of coming to America searching for physical, emotional, and spiritual healing. Over the course of many years, she faced the anguish of looking different, of learning to live without sight, of undergoing dozens of surgical procedures, and all the while, barely scraping by financially but for the charity of others through her own fundraising efforts and word of mouth. Through it all, she maintains an unshakable faith that God is looking after her, and her ordeal and trials serve a larger purpose.

In all honesty, this is not a book I would have sought out. It was given to me by the author herself, who is a friend of a friend, and she asked me to read it and review it on my blog and just generally get the word out so other people will read it. While I appreciate her perseverance in the face of so much adversity, the heavily faith-based flavor is not something that appeals to me, nor am I swayed to "see God at work in the course of my life," as she entreats her readers to do in the book's introduction. I think being so heavy on Christian faith, this book is limited to a very niche audience: like-minded Christians.

Nevertheless, read it and decide for yourself; it might just be your cup of tea.

Truth & Beauty: A Friendship (memoir)

Truth & Beauty: A Friendship by Ann Patchett

What is especially unique about this memoir is that it's not anyone's life story, or even, really, an anecdote from somebody's life, as memoirs so often are. If this book could have another appropriately descriptive title, it might be Autobiography of a Friendship.

Still, it's not a typical friendship. It's the story - really, the complete life cycle, from beginning to end - of the friendship between the author, Ann Patchett, and Lucy Grealy, best known for her book, Autobiography of a Face, which recounts her experience with a rare cancer with which she was diagnosed in childhood which left her severely disfigured, and the physical and emotional aftermath. Ann and Lucy met in college, but it wasn't until they became roommates while attending postgraduate school that the friendship between them was really born. Spanning almost two decades, during which both women become bestselling writers, always underlying the friendship is Lucy's desperate, nearly suffocating need for love, acceptance, and adoration, and ultimately, her self-destructive behavior that ends the friendship with absolute finality.

Knowing the ongoing ordeal Lucy existed under as a result of her childhood cancer, I wanted to have compassion for her, and if looking at her through a black and white lens, it's very easy to chalk up her "issues" to her being so victimized by circumstances beyond her control. Just below the surface of obviousness, though, was a person I found very difficult to actually like. She was manipulative, selfish, demanding, insensitive, narcissistic, and irresponsible.

This is not an uplifting read, but it is very thought-provoking. In addition to the spotlighted theme of friendship, threaded throughout the story are themes like perception, beauty, addiction, codependency, enabling, and the price of unconditional love. Lots to ponder.

Faithful Place (Crime/Mystery/Thriller)

Faithful Place by Tana French

It's official, Tana French is one of my new favorite authors! She has quite a gift for spinning a story with intriguing twists and turns, and developing characters that seem real enough to touch.

Faithful Place is the third book in Ms. French's Dublin Murder Squad series - which are only loosely connected to each other. This book stars Det. Frank Mackey, an undercover cop first introduced in book II of the series, The Likeness. In that book he was merely a peripheral character, and a rather slick, unlikeable one at that. In Faithful Place, we get to know Frank much more intimately, and it turns out that, although extremely flawed, he's also very human and likable.

Twenty-two years ago, Frank Mackey, age 19, planned to run away to London with the love of his life, Rosie Daly. The night they planned to skip town together, though, Rosie never shows up. Instead, Frank finds a note penned by Rosie, indicating that she's decided to dump him and run off to make a life of her own. Broken-hearted, but determined to escape his toxic family, Frank walks away from Faithful Place that night anyway, and doesn't return until now, when a suitcase bearing Rosie's possessions and ferry tickets to London are found in a run-down, long ago abandoned house in their childhood neighborhood. What really happened to Rosie Daly all those years ago? Frank is determined to find out.

I kept turning pages, eating it all up and wanting more, and when the book finally came to a close, I just wanted more from this author! unfortunately, her next book isn't due out in the U.S. until March of 2012.

Five stars to this one - if you're a fan of this genre, you won't be disappointed.

A Stolen Life (memoir)

A Stolen Life by Jaycee Dugard

Like probably most everyone else, I've been riveted by stories in magazines and in the news about Jaycee Dugard. And like probably most everyone else, I've had a morbid curiosity about what actually happened during her captivity. Her face once again graced the cover of last week's People magazine, and ABC televised an hour-long candid interview this past Sunday night between Jaycee and Diane Sawyer. I forgot to record the interview Sunday night but watched it in snippets throughout the day on Monday, and found myself often in awe, and often in tears. Her memoir was due to be released on Tuesday, so I preordered it on my iPad so it would download as soon as it became available, and it downloaded Monday evening. That night I read the first 100 pages without stopping.

This is her detailed account of what happened: how one June morning in 1991, she walked to the bus stop like on any other ordinary school day, only on this day, a man by the name of Phillip Garrido pulled up alongside her in his car, reached his hand out the window, and paralyzed her with a stun gun, and then, with the help of his wife, Nancy, abducted her, drove her to their home a couple hours away and proceeded to keep her in captivity in their backyard for the next eighteen years. Eighteen years! It's almost inconceivable. During this time, she becomes no less than Phillip Garrido's sex slave and bears two children by him, giving birth both times in the squalid backyard, the first time when she was only fourteen years old.

It is an utterly riveting read, and yet, extremely difficult and disturbing. What this girl endured was horrific, and I honestly don't think I could have read it had I not known that in the end, she triumphs.

I got the impression that the book is intentionally not over-edited; it has a very stream-of-consciousness tone to it and very much reads like a young girl pouring her heart and memories out. And yes, she does still come across as very young; her writing has a very adolescent tone to it, which makes perfect sense - she was abducted at the age of eleven, and in a big way began a state of almost suspended animation at that point, being robbed of all the ordinary life experiences that mature a person.

It's very much worth reading, but not for the faint-of-heart.